just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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