Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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