Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize