scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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