Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions