well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket