ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She even gives head with a lisp.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha