dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...