so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.