If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just threw up on my dentist
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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