I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
