that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.