I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder