My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS