I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.