i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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