I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just google imaged poop.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
