well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
