Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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