well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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