4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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