I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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