Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
