Porn is love you can see.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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