The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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