his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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