i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit