Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.