I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life