a queef is a wish your heart makes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
