what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize