Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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