How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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