i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize