NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize