worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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