you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
