Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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