To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
