We won't sleep together?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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