just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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