uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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