Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.