I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks