I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
