After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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