I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
