I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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