put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
