You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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