Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Less talking, more tequila
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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