I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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