Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
