It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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