I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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