she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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