No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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