honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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