Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.