no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you didnt know i had herpes?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!