How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter