for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?