theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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